Happy New Year!
It’s that time again, where you start the year with a renewed sense of purpose, possibility, and potential. You start out strong, set big resolutions/goals for yourself, are optimistic and super-motivated. And then reality sinks in and you realize the goals you set were too lofty or unattainable so you lose the motivation and then end up giving up a few months later.
Blech!
So let’s talk about why setting goals SUCKS and what you should do instead to keep motivated and kicking ass in your career and life this year!
Why setting goals sucks
If you are anything like me, you beat yourself up if you don’t achieve your goal. For instance, you set a goal to lose 20 lbs in 3 months. What happens if you lose only 18? You’ll still feel as if you haven’t attained your goal, and were ultimately unsuccessful. This feeling will prevent you from acknowledging that you are now 18 lbs lighter than when you started out. And that’s what you should be focusing on and feeling good about, instead of beating yourself up for not making the last 2 lbs. Unfortunately, we tend to beat ourselves up for all the little things that go wrong, thereby spawning crappy internal feelings that are neither supportive or motivating of further change.
Another reason why goals suck is they don’t necessarily motivate. If your goal is to lose X lbs, that’s not as motivating or inspiring than the goal to “feel good about your body”. This goal really isn’t a goal after all, but more of an objective or a general “feeling” that you’re aiming for. It stems from an emotional place, which is much more powerful and motivating than any measurable goal. The desire to feel good about your body is all about the positive “feelings” associated with having a lighter, more toned and fit body. Feeling good, looking good, having energy, etc, are all better motivators than wanting your scale to read 20 lbs lighter.
What to do instead
Your Core Desired Feelings Activity
Directions: Think about your desired feelings. How do you want to feel at the end of your perfect day? Inspired? Fulfilled? Helpful? Exhausted but energized from working out? Impactful? Positive? Creative? Write down these core feelings somewhere and meditate on how you can bring more of these feelings into your life. Then create your list of projects, objectives, and action-items based on the drive to elicit more of these core desired feelings.
The “Screw New Year’s Resolutions” (aka 3 years from now Journal) Activity
Directions: Write out your life, three years from now. Write it as if it’s true, like it’s an actual journal entry. Describe all aspects of your life from career to relationships to body to how you spend your day. Write about your past accomplishments. A few things to keep in mind:
- Don’t worry about the “how”: how you’re going to create this life.
- Dream big. Push yourself to have a bigger vision for your life.
- Have fun and feel good!
Download the activity sheet here!
This activity is super powerful because it will help you dream bigger and get clearer on what your extraordinary life looks like. The more clarity you have, the more power you will possess to create the change you want. Getting clear on how you want your bad ass life to look like will also put your intentions into the world, set the wheels of change in motion, and help you figure out what the next step is towards making it happen. Describing your dream life will also bring in more positive, feel-good vibes so you can start manifesting awesome opportunities for change and personal growth!
So get dreaming!
This week’s tush-kickin’ challenge: What are three of your core desired feelings for your dream life? Share with me below!
“Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward and make your dreams come true.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson Click to Tweet
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Ok girl thank you so much for posting this and your overall website is so awesome. But I love this particular article because I dont think that I have ever set a New Years Resolution in my life, I mean not really…I never saw the point lol! I am so glad that you get what I always thought in my head but just never could explain to myself or others and you put it perfectly
So glad to have found you and looking forward to your newsletters!!!
Katie
Thanks so much Katie! Ths exercise is so much more fun and inspiring instead of setting New Year’s Resolutions that just make us feel stuck and constricted. Have a kick ass year girl!