Note: I refer to the voices in our head as our ego. My interpretation of the ego is that voice that warns us when we could potentially face harm, humiliation, disappointment, or any other form of distress. However, this article does not address auditory hallucinations which are completely different. Please seek the advice of a mental health professional if you are experiencing the latter.
We all have voices in our head that create an internal dialogue that can drive us a little crazy. These voices are commonly called our “ego”. Sometimes our ego helps us by warning us of danger. More often than not though, our ego stifles our growth and progress through its negative, disparaging comments. It often puts us down, tells us we’re not good enough, that we’re incapable, and ends up only reinforcing our fears and self-doubt. The end result? Total paralyzation and feeling stuck so we can never move forward in our lives and realize our dreams. Thus, this article will show you how to put your ego in its place so you can finally step into the incredible woman you were born to be!
Step 1: Understanding your ego
The ego serves a purpose
That voice in your head has been around since humans could first walk. We evolved this voice for a reason; that is, to ultimately protect us from harm. However, since there are no saber-toothed tigers lurking around corners waiting to chomp our heads off, this protective mechanism doesn’t serve the same purpose in today’s world. Today our ego chimes in whenever we are facing any unfamiliar situation. E.g., when we want to take a big risk and start a business but our ego says we’ll fail, or when we get ready to ask for that raise at work but our ego says we are not worthy of it, or when we want to find that dream relationship but our ego says we’re not good enough for him/her, etc. Our ego wants to offer its two cents to help save us from humiliation, disappointment, and self-criticism that may happen from “failure” or rejection. That’s fine that it’s trying to look out for us, but in the process it usually ends up convincing us to not take that risk at all because of the potential negative repercussions. Real growth, progress, and fulfillment comes from taking risks and getting out of our comfort zone, which the ego hates!
Where did it come from?
It’s important to understand where your voice comes from or who/what has influenced it because it’ll help you realize that these voices are not your own! When you hear this voice, who does it sound like? Does your ego say things that your parents told you while growing up? Has your ego been influenced by a traumatic or humiliating event in your life? See if you can identify similarities between your ego and the people in your life. Recognize and acknowledge the fact that your ego has been highly influenced by external people, circumstances, and your past, so it is not who you really are!
It’s always going to be there
Yep, it’s always going to be there. At first blush this may sound hopeless or depressing, but in reality it may be a relief because if you accept that it’ll always be there, then you no longer need to resist or fight your ego. Instead, you can simply choose not to listen. It may also help to know that our awesome self-help idols like Marianne Williamson, Eckhart Tolle, and Marie Forleo all have that voice in their head but have learned how to put it in its place, and so can you!
Step 2: Taming your ego
Naming your ego will help you disconnect your identity from it. It also adds some humor to this whole idea which will make it easier and fun! I have a few fond names of my own: the soul sucker, dream crusher, gremlin, or one of my absolute fav’s: that crazy b**ch! So realizing it has a separate identity from you is really helpful in acknowledging that what it says is not who you are. So again, you can choose not to listen to it.
Get out of your head
I say this a lot. But it’s true. Turn up the music and dance. Go meditate. Go for a walk, hike, get outside. Just do something so you are not succumbing to those negative voices.
When your ego starts yapping away and causes all sorts of fears, anxiety, and stress, turn your attention inward. Notice how your body feels. Pay attention to your breath. Listen to your inhales/exhales, but also feel the air going through your windpipe and into your lungs, and then back out. Feel your body and notice any tension, particularly in your chest or stomach. Being “present” will immediately get you out of your head. Practicing this will help you quickly recognize when your ego is steering the ship so you can quickly take back control of your thoughts and feelings.
Step 3: Embrace your inner Heroine!
Now that you know how to put your ego in its place, it’s time to bring in the gorgeous, courageous, supportive, and bold inner HEROINE that is inside you. It’s time to turn up the volume on her!
Want to learn how to turn down the ego’s voice and embrace your inner heroine? Join the conversation on December 5th, 2012 during my free Webinar: ”Shut down your ego and let your inner Heroine shine”. We will learn how to tame that ego, turn up the inner Heroine, and figure out exactly how you can become the amazing woman we were born to be. Register at www.beyourownheroine.com or by following this link. Get ready to revolutionize your life (and save the world!).
What is exactly is Be Your Own Heroine? Watch below!
This week’s tush-kickin’ challenge: What does your inner Heroine look like? Share with me in the comments below!
Help me start this Revolution! Share with your friends below!